Last night I relaunched my online dating profiles for Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder. I added current pictures. I updated my job and location information.
I wish-washed on the job information. Technically, I am not currently working as a lawyer. But, I am still a lawyer in Nebraska and South Dakota. Kind of like being a Catholic, I guess. Once a lawyer, always a lawyer. Unless you get disbarred. Then you are not a lawyer anymore.
I decided to put "former lawyer." Recovering lawyer might be funnier. But I read this damn book once that said "don't use humor in your online dating profile," so I try to be careful.
Anywho, I launched profiles on 3 free sites. I proceeded to swipe right and left and click hearts. Then I went to sleep.
Today I checked my apps to see if I had any action. I did. I had a mutual like from a personal trainer in Kona, who I will call "The Legs," because his thighs are like ... those guys in the world's strongest man competition. The guys who pull airplanes with a rope.
"The Legs" lives in Kona. I messaged, "1. Cute cat! 2. Acro Yoga!!! 3. Nice Legs! 4. Do you want to get a drink on Thursday night?"
"The Legs" messaged back right away. He liked my forwardness, and he wanted to say yes, but ... did he know me from somewhere? He said I looked super familiar.
I messaged, "The odds are STRONG we have not met. I just moved here in October from Nebraska. Did you used to live in Nebraska?" I asked. "My sister lives in Hilo though, and we do look alike. And it is a small Big Island," I said. "Plus," I said, "I think I would remember you;)"
"Ooooohhhhh," said "the Legs." "So, is your sister's name Christine????"
I cannot make this fucking shit up.
"Yep. My sister is Christine!" I replied. "That's nuts," I added, because it truly is nuts.
Then "the Legs" proceeded to tell me that it would not be right for us to date, because he's had a crush on my sister forrrreeevvvveeerrrr... it wouldn't be fair to me. To which I replied, "I appreciate your honesty. I get it. Christine is awesome."
"The Legs"said, "I really wish this wasn't the case. I mean, I obviously like the way you look, you guys could be twins."
I threw up a bajillion heart emoji's and said, "Thank you!!! Best compliment ever!!!" Because truly, that is the best compliment ever. Then I wished him luck on his Bumble journey.
So, pretty good fucking story about my first online dating experience on the Big Island.
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